Saturday, March 21: Kamakura

I start this story with one of the first important lessons I have learned about myself via travelling with my family: I get HANGRY, and in order to prevent ‘hanger’, I need to have access to food at all times. Perhaps you have heard of this term, “hangry”? It’s a combination of “Hungry” and “Anger”, as in you get especially angry WHEN you are hungry. This caused a wicked mood swing that could have completely derailed our entire day and possibly the whole trip because Adi was not quite sure how to respond to my hungermence (“Hungry-vehemence”) and for almost a week was afraid I would lash out during my times of foo-eed (“Food-need”). I had learned my lesson and had started stashing snacks (which are much yummier in Japan!) and felt I was doing a great job of keeping my energy and blood sugar at an even level, but I suppose we were not able to really talk about how my “Hanger” had affected him, and how disorienting it was for him when suddenly my mood was better. (Though, this happened often while I was breastfeeding, so I thought that we had established a year ago that this happens to me! I guess out of sight out of mind, but then once IN sight it’s absolutely terrifying…) In any case, we have mutually decided that food is an important part of our preparation during travel, and before I even get to the point where I’m starving I can eat something small (or not so small) to tide me over until we are both ready for a meal. Turns out the snacks are a bonus for Anderson too, because he needs nourishment almost as often as I do, but he has absolutely no buffer if we can’t offer the goods immediately… so when I buy food to avoid my own twentysomething meltdown, I am also avoiding meltdowns from my two-year-old. Funny how there can be decades between and yet the same behavior.

SO. We slept through the night and then some, and Anderson did not wake up for a total of almost 17 hours, so we felt ready for a big adventure. After a delicious buffet at our hotel (soup, eggs, French fries, hot dogs, salad, pickled vegetables, rice, fish, toast, cereal, yogurt and fruit, plus coffee, tea, water and juice) we braved the windy and steep streets of Akasaka to our first Metro station. The Japanese are EVERYWHERE, as in there are always STREAMS of people going in every direction at a pretty fast pace. As if driven by silent motors which also have magnets which repel them from touching anyone as they move. It’s pretty remarkable. We decided on going to Kamakura, which required a long train ride with one transfer.

I LOVED how easy it was to find how to get to your train line. There were markings and arrows on the floors, walls, AND ceilings. As long as you knew where you needed to end up, you didn’t have to know how to get there, just follow the signs! Some stations even had a distance tracker, like M line 570 m, then the next sign said M line 430 m, so you know you’re getting closer.

I DISLIKED how difficult it was to find elevators that got you to the correct line. We preferred to use the lift whenever possible because we always brought our stroller. If the lift was out of reasonable walking distance, or we simply could not find it, we had to either bring it on the escalators (which isn’t allowed, but everyone was doing it. We found going down was more challenging than going up) or carry it over the stairs (in which going down was easier than going up! And also easier if Andy was not in it…) and sometimes there would be a LOT of stairs.

We eventually made it to Kamakura and found a volunteer information table, and a nice man told us the best way to get to the Great Big Buddha Statue was to take a bus. We told him we wanted lunch first (here we go…) and he suggested just up the way in the shopping alley were some great restaurants, but his personal favorite was in another alley. We got excited and I took the lead, and we went down not one, not two, not three, but FOUR alleys looking for this place, which only had Japanese characters and no English translation of the name he told us. I knew we were in the right place, and there were a few restaurants there but NO ONE else was around so we didn’t know if they were closed or open. Finally a nice old lady walked by and pointed us to the right one. GREAT. I’m hungry! I open the sliding door and start to bring in the stroller, and the host says to me, “Sorry, this place is for adults only.” I look at him in disbelief, trying to silently convey, “You’ve got to be effing kidding me!” so I began my hangry retreat and told Adi I can no longer think for I am TOO HUNGRY AND TOO ANGRY to look for a new restaurant. I asked him to find us a place because I no longer cared. I was so pissed that the nice old man did not mention that his favorite place did not accept little kids (he may not have known, but I was still steamed) but then I got even more pissed that Adi did not choose a restaurant along the way back to the main street… could he not see how HANGRY I was???

When we finally settled on a place Anderson was in quite the mood too, and happily banged on all the dishes and made so much noise that I thought we would get kicked out. Luckily we had our own little room, but we didn’t know there was a bell to call in the waiter, so we decided what we wanted, and waited, and waited, and WAITED (omfg, I am SO HUNGRY) until I went to get someone so we could order. Andy did not want to eat the noodles or the tempura, he just wanted to hit plates, and I was too exhausted to stop him. The food was fine but not great, but it did revive my spirit as I tried to shake off the disappointment from the past hour. We made our way back to the bus station (and got some chocolate cookies on the way) and caught a #6 to the entrance of the park. Okay, now we are back on track.

The Buddha statue was fine, it was a great big statue of a Buddha, just as advertised! A friend pointed out we have one in Golden Gate Park, but we had to travel to Japan to see it, haha. Tons of tourists, but I was surprised how many Japanese residents were there too. I guess it's not all foreigners who enjoy the awesomeness of the country. What I really liked was how joyful Andy was just running around in the rock garden behind the shrine. Reminded me of the beauty in simplicity: we don't need a fancy faraway place to be happy, we can enjoy and be so content with the pebbles beneath our feet.

The nice volunteer who had ruined our lunch also suggested we check out Hase Temple, so we walked there from the Buddha shrine. We got some green tea ice cream on the way, and I think it was my absolute favorite treat of our vacation so far! Andy ended up stealing my cone, so we got one for each of us (the old man selling it was confused, thought I had dropped my cone and that's why I was back for more, and tried to give it to me for free! I paid him anyway, a treat that good deserves to be paid for!) and relaxed on the steps of a shop watching everyone walking by.

We liked the Hase Temple even more than the Buddha park! There were nice koi ponds and a zen rock garden at the ground level, then a bunch of stairs to about 4 different levels, then shrines and different temples at each level of the park. It was theory that if you make the journey all the way to the top and see the waters of the ocean at Kamakura Beach that you will reach enlightenment... Adi and I did it each holding the kiddo and the stroller, so we decided we reached that "extra special" level of Buddhahood! So, we got our exercise in, it was a little less crowded (maybe because it started raining?), and it was so beautiful. Andy and I lit some incense and a candle for "Happy Family" for a few yen, and he liked seeing the wax burn. There was even a cave we explored a little. There was just so much variety within one park, and it only cost 3 yen per person to get in.

Overall, the day was successful, and Andy was a very happy camper at the parks, which made us very happy. And I am trying to have foresight the rest of this trip and NEVER get too hangry again...!

Thursday March 19th: SFO -->NRT

We all woke up at 5 in the morning (Andy must have been excited too!) to finish all the little things before my father was supposed to arrive around 8am for our 12pm flight. I told my husband that I wanted the house completely clean – new sheets on the bed, dishes washed and dried, counters wiped and cleared, toys put away – so we could come back to a neat house and just relax upon our return. When my dad showed up and saw how good the house was looking, he said, “You should travel more often!” Ha, ha, ha. But I won’t argue ;) Both Adi and I were feeling a little sick, sore throats and headaches, but we had been chanting for weeks that nothing would keep us from enjoying this trip. So, we take medicine, essential oils, and a positive attitude, and power on. Made oatmeal but was so hyped up on adrenaline that I didn’t want to eat it until EVERYTHING was finished and Dad was shooing us out the door. We took a family picture with all our luggage outside the house, and piled into the car. Oh my god, this is really happening!

AIRPORT TRAVEL

SFO was pretty easy. In fact, it was the least stressful airport experience ever, domestic and international. Andy ate FOUR applesauce packets on the way to the airport (thank you Trader Joe’s for helping us avoid a meltdown early!) and my father navigated traffic flawlessly. We hugged goodbye at the gate, promising to talk as soon as we could. Check in was quick and we even got through security in less than five minutes because we had a toddler. It was incredible, even somewhat enjoyable (to see everyone else still waiting in line! Though, to be fair, it was not too crowded. Travel on Thursday afternoons, people!) and we had enough time to get tea and yogurt. I ended up getting even more yogurt, because the kiddo stole all of mine (“Want a taste baby? Oh, you like it! Honey, he likes yogurt again! Wow, you really like it, huh? Um, honey, can you get me another yogurt please, Andy just ate ALL OF IT.”) and I added honey and a drop of Thieves essential oils to ward off the sore throat that was creeping in.

We headed down to the gate (literally, down an escalator) and the kiddo was absolutely enamored with seeing the airplanes up close. His nose was glued to the window and was shouting “Airplane! Airplane!” We had the stroller out, and an attendant came over to help us check it in. I asked if there was preboarding for parents with young kids, thinking I had seen certain airlines do this plus we had just gotten that privilege at security, but the lady said, “Oh no, pre-boarding is only for the richer people.” !!!!! I’m going to chalk it up to her English as a second language, and what she MEANT was, “Only the people willing to pay get to preboard” and not “You are poor so you do not get to pre-board.” Oops.

Andy really liked the seatbelt on the plane, until he realized we were going to make him use it. His new phrase is “No, no want to!” which actually sounds like “No, moattu!” and we had to do some serious negotiating with him. Eventually we got him on Adi’s lap looking at pictures on his phone (in airplane mode, of course) and I offered a steady supply of grapes, which kept him chewing and distracted while the plane took off. He looked out the window a little bit, but within an hour he was passed out on the seat and slept for almost 3 hours! Turns out waking up at 5 am was a blessing today.

The dinner was pretty foul, but luckily we brought chicken pesto wraps from Trader Joe’s so we did not starve. I had downloaded a show about pirates on my phone, so I got through an episode and change, plus an episode of The Big Bang Theory on the airplane TV, before Anderson woke up and it was keep-him-happy time. We played with window cling art (great idea from my sister-in-law, courtesy of Target’s dollar spot!) and fuzzy pipe cleaners (idea courtesy of my teaching experience) and made magic wands and beautiful tiaras. We also made friends with a skateboard-shoe designer from Orange County and a mini poodle named Boo. Andy was also friendly with the people in the row behind us, so I hope they were okay with his incessant peek-a-boo from the top of the chair! There were no issues until we had to buckle him in for landing, and he REALLY did not want to do it again, so I just held him tightly and hoped the flight attendants would understand…

LANDED in the Narita airport with no chastisement from the stewardesses, and no injuries from lack of seatbelts, and we were on to the next adventure of airport security and customs. This time it was not as smooth as in SFO, and it took almost three hours to get on the road to our hotel. Customs was PACKED (and we found out at the END of the line there was a section for families with young children, dang! ALWAYS ASK AN AIRPORT ATTENDANT IF THERE ARE SPECIAL LINES, you never know!) Then, luckily, we met up with Adi’s friend from Georgia, Mark, who helped us navigate getting our Shinkansen bullet train passes in the subway beneath the airport. We could NOT have done it without him. We were tired and hungry and already jetlagged (I did not sleep on the plane) and we definitely would have gotten lost and more stressed if Mark hadn’t been there to help. Anderson made a friend through the window, some nice teenager who played “Inai, Inai, Ba!” (peek-a-boo) and blew him kisses. Once she left he got bored quickly, so he started taking out ALL THE FLIERS from the train office and ‘rearranging’ them on the seat. Oh, travel with a two-year-old.

Finally we were on our way and Mark drove us to our place… If he hadn’t been with us we would have either tried to brave the subway (which would have made me very cranky) or hired a taxi (which would have made my husband very cranky), and we ALL would have been starving and at our wit’s end. Luckily Mark wanted to eat too, and we stopped at a service station with full-on food court. We all got hot udon which revived us a little, but exhaustion took over as soon as we got back in the car. Andy refused the car seat, and Mark assured me it was okay to have him in my lap without a seatbelt, so I did not argue and the kid and I fell asleep while Adi and Mark caught up for the hour-plus ride to our hotel in Akasaka, Tokyo.

THE HOTEL was amazing! Very clean, and a small but very cozy room that overlooked a cemetery (not as creepy as it sounds). We pushed the two twin beds together to make one big bed, which opened up space for our luggage against the bathroom wall, and allowed Andy to keep sleeping (he did not wake up upon arrival, and slept for almost 17 hours through the night AND the next morning). The bathroom was super cool, with great shower and heated toilet. I was so thankful. We promptly fell asleep and did not wake up for almost 12 hours.

I have still not entirely recovered from the jet lag, now over a full week later; Japan is NO JOKE with its 16-hour time difference to California. And I have traveled all over the world and have never experienced anything like this. I mean, when I was in New Zealand I don’t remember ANY jet lag, and that flight is even longer than to Japan. But I was a young single twentysomething with the goal of making new friends and crazy memories, so I guess I just partied through the jet lag. And before that, when I did various international tours with various choirs (Australia, Hungary, Cuba) or went to Europe with my family, I did not have any problem with extreme jet lag either. But then again I was even younger and had all my friends around me, and adults were taking care of all the travel arrangements. NOW, I’m the one in charge, and I’m sure much of it is because I’m traveling with a two-year-old, so it’s a completely different experience in mind and body, because it’s so much more about keeping all his needs met and joyful and keeping him safe than it is about me simply having a good time. I definitely AM having a great time, it’s just a different definition at this point in my life. And honestly, I think it’s way MORE fun, because Anderson sees things in the most beautiful, innocent, joyful way that helps you remember all the good in the world. He doesn’t care who you are or what language you speak; if you wave hello, he loves you and is ready with that beaming smile that melts you into a puddle of happiness. It’s amazing. I’m so glad we are all here together experiencing this amazing world as a family.